Police Seize Money From Bras in Poker Raid

Garza did not comment on whether all bras were searched, or just those of unusually well-endowed women.

Never to be deterred or distracted from their duty, police in Mission, Texas raided a neighborhood poker game and seized over $4000, almost half of which was in twenty-dollar bills hidden in a woman's bra.

Officers entered the home of an assistant principal at a local elementary school late Saturday night and found over 40 people, most of whom were playing poker around three tables set up in the living room.

Jose Luis Esquivel stands to be the only person charged with a crime, as he made the major mistake of neighborhood poker: he took a rake from the games. Dealers also received tips, an unimaginable sin. He had apparently been running regular games in his home for months.

Police took down the gambling ring just in time, as Lt. Martin Garza, Mission police spokesman, noted that it was fortunate to shut down the poker games before "things spiraled out of control."

In a truly vapid statement, Garza said, 'A dispute or a fight could take place. Someone could wind up getting hurt or murdered inside (the) residence."

Garza did not comment on whether all bras were searched, or just those of unusually well-endowed women. Also left unaddressed was department policy on searching men with bulging underwear.

The spokesman also observed that surveillance of the hotbed of evil began after several neighbors reported suspicious activity. "It is important that people get involved in these types of things in a neighborhood," he said.

By "involved in these types of things", one can presume he means ratting out one's neighbors for business conducted behind closed doors, and with no damage to the neighborhood. Thanks, Nazis!